For real??

Today was a good day but also a day of a lot of fogging.

I went into the dr today and I was excited that after a hassle getting me in they acctually said it was something rather then tell me it was all in my head however after getting the perscription and finding how much it cost even though he said he was going to give me a genaric I about blah! Ne ways when I went in he yelled at me and said I waited to long. I found out that I will never go tot Walgreens for a perscription again because you royaly get robbed! They quoted me 61.?? while Target quoted me 49.?? and even though I hate to admit this ... Walmart quoted me 40.??. Now I hate Walmart but considering I only had 22 to my name for sure I went with walmart with a half a perscription, but normally I would have paid a few dollars more at Target just for better service and not to support the devil. ne ways the sad part was I wanted to get my weight while I was at the Dr. Now know I started this diet almost four weeks ago and at the calories I am eating I should be losing at LEAST 4 pounds a week probably more. Well I guess I knew I weighed more then 430 but I wasnt sure how much. In the back of my head I have been thinkging 450-475. Well I get on the scale thinking I have lost at least 20 but hoping more like fifty. I Know unrealistic but .. I am just so proud of what I have been doing. Scale reads 429. Crushing cause my first goal is 407 and that means its 22 pounds away which means four weeks away. BLAH I just makes you feel like its hopeless, however on the same hand I know I have to keep going so that I dont have to cover these poujnds again. So I know I was at least 450 - crazy. Once upon a time four years ago when i was 420 I said I would NEVER get higher then that...execially once I had lost the 100 pounds. It makes my addiction and issue just that much more deap. I dont knwo anyone who will truley understand ... but I know I have to keep trucking forward.

The less calories hasnt been all that hard... today I think I will end at 1800 so though it is more then the 1600 I aim for... I know I wont gain. Yesterday however though I finished at like 1500 so I suppose it all evens out.

Work was ok today. I got good news that they are going to let me switch what I do on Sundays so that makes me feel better, I really thought I was going to get more hassle about it. I broke the computer yesterday so I was worried that was gonna get blammed on me and I didnt know how that was going to go. Even though I dont think I did it, it happened while I was at work. I guess we will see what they say when it comes back from the repair shop.

I forgot about an assignment two weeks in a row and have a lot of work to do this week and Ive been slacking so much on homework. BLAH I dont know. I cant say I really have an excuse even though I do.. but if the excuse wasnt there I still would be slacking Im sure.

Cant wait to just lounge on the couch tonight when Alan gets home from work though I am sure I will more likely just crash ... which sucks cause its a night that I could just lounge.

We have a manditory meeting tomorrow night for insurance. its kind of interesting though I dont think it will cover much, so I dont know if its worth it, but just about the time you say that... it does become worth something.

Ok til later!