Seriously... LEAVE already!

Good Morning Diary...

Well today is going ok, work seems to be moving faster then I thought and its really been a decent day. I did have a hard time sleeping last night, and woke up feeling really rough this morning. Alan didnt want me to go into work, and wanted me to go into the DR. But I hate DRS cause half of the time they just say oh whatever and you pay them for nothing. I think that if they say there is nothing wrong you shouldnt pay, but then agian if that was the case you would have a lot of people with a lot of un neccessary problems. My nose is pealing and I look strange :) I am going through kleenex and dayquill like nuts. I am drinking too much diet soda, and even though I am sticking close to my calories my feet are swelling like crazy. I thought I was doing so good and now I feel black about the weightloss, but Im not giving up!.

Excited to see that the ones around me are losing, and losing alot rapidly, but I keep questioning myself, am I losing? am I doing as good as them? I should be because I am not fudging, but then again I dont know since I cant weigh myself. Sigh I tell ya. I still wonder how many calories dayquill has in it...

Though I have been staying under my calories I havent been under my goal calories everyday. I dont know I know I will feel better about it all when I am done swelling and blowing my nose :) SO until then Ill just keep trucking.

The other night i was hanging out with a ex boyfriends girlfriend and she made the comment that I could eat alot. Granted it was a day that I splurged (still staying under 2500 calories) but that was wow. Then we were talking about weight loss and shes like yeah I know before you use to weigh 300 something. I was like wow he talks about my weight...that just made me feel wierd. Then shes like yeah I guess your like 450 which is the case so I dont know it was just wierd. Then she was talking about how fat she was, and she was looking at jeans and shes like man Im not that big. Im like seriously dont people get it when they are with someone who is heavier, probably not a good idea to say that. I dont know ....

I have been slacking around the house and with my homework because of the way I have been feeling....I know its a horriable excuse and I feel like I always have an excuse ... Its been an adjustment having Alan working 25 hours aweek and going to school, and myself working 40+ hours and going to school and trying to find time for everything. I need to do better, but its not my ideal situation, and being sick I am even more useless during the free time. My poor husband!

i suppose if I wasnt typing this blog I could do more now :) My goal is to be able to weigh in on my scale and to be able to do that I have to weigh in at 407. When I am able to do that then I will get a pedicure and facial or something. OF course I dont know how far away that is, but i know Alan is only six pounds away from his and Eric is only like five or so ... Im so proud of them!!!!!!

Tonight plan to do some grocery shopping and tomorrow night I think we are having games at our place with some friends. I hope I can behave both nights with food, however today Ive already kind of ruined that with a bag of cheatos that was 560 calories and a chick sandwhich from mc donalds. SO puts me at like 1260 calories -- we shall see!

ta ta for now!